We Don’t Need No Stinking Tutu

Domestic goddessI am not a crafty person. I don’t sew. I don’t scrapbook. I don’t even color in coloring books. Forget about any domestic skills in the kitchen. Mine will never be one of those houses with the mouth-watering scent of baked goods wafting about.

Twelve years ago, none of this mattered. So I’m not artsy. I have a brain for business (and a body for….who am I kidding?) I can build a killer spreadsheet and to me, that’s an art. Oddly enough, spreadsheets don’t play a big role in being a mom. Huh.

That’s right, I’m a mom. Which means I’m expected to make things and bake things and they have to be presentable to others. My poor child. She did not get the luck of the drawer in this area.

Case in point, my attempt to “make” her Halloween costume. She wants to be a ladybug but the costume at the store costs more than I can afford. So I thought, “I’ll make her a costume!” I have no idea what I was drinking that day (maybe someone spiked the coffee at work) but the moment the thought entered my head, the following thought SHOULD have been, “You can’t do that!”

Mr. Follow-up Thought missed his cue so there I was, wondering Joann’s Fabrics with a plan and my own delusions. In fairness to me, I did make something. There is a red and black tulle skirt attached to a black jersey waistband with a red ribbon running through it. However, the goal was a tutu not a skirt so though the construction worked, the goal was missed by a mile.

Gypsy costumeI checked out costumes online, knowing I could not subject my child to the ridicule of her peers when she walked into the Halloween dance in this poor excuse for a tutu. (Don’t even ask what the rest of the costume was going to be.) I would admit defeat (again) and break out the credit card.

But wait. I have a costume in my closet I’ve never worn. My child could wear this. (Yes, at age 12, she can wear my clothes.) I can cut it off and hem the bottom – this iron on hemming stuff is genius! – accessorize her up with every chain, bangle, and dangly item I own and a gypsy is born!

Needless to say, this plan B was not met with much enthusiasm, but I have assured her she’ll have the coolest costume at the ball. And she will. Because sometimes being determined is way better than being artsy.

9 thoughts on “We Don’t Need No Stinking Tutu”

  1. Ah, the gypsy fallback costume! I wore that several years for Halloween! You have any tarot cards for her to carry? Or a crystal ball?

  2. Hellie says:

    And don’t forget the makeup. Eyeliner allowances will make up for any lack of aforementioned enthusiasm.
    Still–the attempt at whimsical creativity should be applauded. We all have creativity projects (okay, Chance may have been successful on all projects but we’re not all her) we’ve bombed on. Eventually you find an alternative craft you can do that no one else would suspect. We’re all capable with this sort of artistic ability. Even my friend Jackie who claims otherwise. I’ve seen her beautiful poetry–she’s more than capable–even if she too is more comfortable with an excel spreadsheet.

  3. Terri Osburn says:

    No tarot cards but lots of scarves and bangle bracelets. And she’s going to be ECSTATIC about the opportunity to wear so much makeup.

  4. Quantum says:

    I have a friend whose daughter is now a clothes designer, attending fashion shows all round the world. As a teenager she would invade charity shops where you can pick up excellent clothes for a song. Silk scarf here, ball gown there. She then put them together somehow to come up with new fashion designs.
    I just thought that maybe you could take a quick look in some of these shops. You never know what you might find. You might even find some tutus. I found a crystal ball once!
    Hey Terri, are you updating your site regularly now?

  5. Irisheyes says:

    I can completely sympathize, Ter. It seems as if I’ve spent the better part of motherhood trying to measure up to my idea of what motherhood should be.
    My mother was not crafty or creative either. So, I assume it’s genetic! We were usually bums! We had plenty of old, ripped clothes to go around. After some serious begging on our part, she finally bought those tacky plastic costumes at Walgreens with the tackier plastic mask that screamed “my mother has no artistic ability whatsoever!” I’m not sure what was worse. LOL
    I laugh cause I married Suzy Homemaker. He sews, mends and creates. It’s kind of humiliating but, hey, what are you gonna do! My son picked up his baseball uniform at the beginning of the season several years ago and shouted across the parking lot for every parent to hear “Hey mom, coach says we have to sew our patch on our sleeves. Do you think dad will have time to do that before our game Saturday?” That elicited several giggles from the crowd.
    Believe it or not, though, I think the non-crafty gene skipped a generation because my daughter has been making her halloween costumes for the past several years. She comes up with the idea and drags me out to get all the materials. She was Cleopatra a couple of years ago and looked fabulous!
    I think a gypsy is an awesome costume. I would think that would be right up a teenage girl’s alley! Lots of makeup, lots of bling, etc.!

  6. Terri Osburn says:

    I don’t think our mother’s had to be as crafty as we do now. Couple years ago Kiddo was required to bring in a “made from scratch” dish related to the book she was reading. I don’t make anything “from scratch” and to assume we all do is just annoying.
    My mother actually made her own clothes once upon a time, but never attempted to make us anything. Nor did she teach us how to sew. >.< I didn't like Halloween so I threw a white sheet over my head every year. I could bundle up underneath and back then it was always cold on Halloween. Guess I've always been of a practical nature. LOL!
    My ex could barely tie his shoes. Stop bragging. 🙂 Oh, and I can add a pic of how she looked to the blog. I should do that.

  7. Terri Osburn says:

    Now that you mention it, Q, Kiddo took a sewing class last year. And she’s been drawing fashion designs in a notebook for years. WHY have I not put her to work??
    That’s it. We’re scheduling trips to thrift stores to see what we can find. I’m determined to put this sewing machine (I’ve never used) to work.

  8. Irisheyes says:

    That is an awesome costume!
    She really looks like you, Ter. (a blonde you! LOL)

  9. Terri Osburn says:

    Thanks, Irish. You can imagine my relief when this worked. LOL!

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