Two Mediums, Extra Prozac

Have you ever tried to order a pizza online? No? Well, let me walk you through this. But be prepared, it’s not pretty.

So Sunday evening the kiddo and I got hungry. I’d been working on homework all day with more to go. Cooking was not on the horizon. That’s when a brilliant idea came to me. Let’s order pizza! Since I was already online, I figured I’d use good old technology and cut out having to deal with a half-brained teenager on the phone. Mistake number one.

Since I don’t want to promote any specific company, lets say I went to the PH website. I’d registered on there before, or so I thought, so I tried to log in. No go. So I tried to register. At which time I was informed my email address was already registered. Really? Ok. Lets hit the “forgot my log in” button and see what comes up.

So I wait. The answer comes and off I go. Now I’m registered. I pick a coupon, order the pizza on it and try to check out. I’m informed I must order at least $8.50 worth of product for delivery. I know I’ve ordered more than that amount so I check the items in my cart. The amount due reads $0.00 even though there is a pizza and coupon in my *cart*. Hmmmm…I try again and a little message pops up saying I must contact my local store as this order cannot be processed online.

Since calling is what I was trying to avoid and by this time I was mightily ticked off, I ventured to a different pizza provider. Mistake number two.

We’ll call this one PJ’s. I know I’ve never registered here so I start the process. I enter my name, address, phone numbers, blood type, weight at birth, and shoe size then press continue. Nothing happens. I scroll up the page to find the little red print that will tell me what I’ve done wrong. No little red print. I check all lines and click continue again. Nothing.

In case you haven’t figured it out, by this point I was beyond irritated. My daughter had already moved as far down the couch as she could. She’s a smart child.

At the end of my rope with the damn technology, I picked up the phone and called the store number on the screen. Enter the half-brained teenager. And I’m exaggerating when I use the word “half”. I can’t even understand anything she/he says in the greeting. Not even enough to determine if I should use the word “he” or “she” in this damn blog.

After the initial greeting I said, “I beg your pardon?” to which the person repeated the greeting EXACTLY the same way again. To this moment I have no idea what that garbled greeting was supposed to be. It was as if the nitwit decided to actually place the mouthpiece of the receiver in their mouth and then talk.

At that point, I hung up the phone and declared to kiddo we WERE NOT having pizza for dinner. Sometime around 8pm I got up and made a pizza in the kitchen. *sigh*

Have you had a similar experience? Do you think technology really makes our lives easier? Or are you like me and convinced its sole purpose is to drive us all insane. It’s just doing it at the speed of smell. (Thanks Ron White for that last little joke. *g*)

13 thoughts on “Two Mediums, Extra Prozac”

  1. I think technology is just there to annoy us. It’s all the nerds in highschool-the ones who are making this stuff- getting back at us for not letting them sit at our lunch j/K. I was a nerd in school!

  2. Quantum says:

    Thats funny, I don’t seem to have these probs.

    Terri,I learnt an important lesson from my father in law many years ago.

    Whenever he took us to a restaurant he would always find the head waiter before we sat down and give him a sizable tip. My wife and I would die of embarrassment but the service and food was always perfect.

    Similar rule for barbers.I once forgot to tip and had to live with the consequences after the next hair cut *g*

    Try tipping the delivery boy and always use the same company… wonders!

  3. terrio says:

    Kelly – I was a nerd too but I still think you might be onto something.

    Q – Your F-I-L was obviously a very smart man. And I should use the same place all the time but all the pizza places around my house are crappy. I need to do some research to find a good one then stick with it!

    And my condolences on that haircut. LOL!

  4. Stephanie J says:

    I’ll add ordering pizza to my list of things not to do online! I’ve always wondered about that sort of thing (like the people who buy all their groceries online) but I just can’t bring myself to test anything for myself. I HAVE had the form issue on another site, tho. It would not let me move to the next screen! It’s at those points that I’m glad I have a small bit of self restraint otherwise I would have hurled my computer across the room.

  5. Janga says:

    I have never ordered pizza online, and I always phone in to the same place, so they treat me like an old friend.

    The technology I hate most is the self-check-out machines that talk to me. They always mess up, and I end up talking back to them. Then I feel foolish when people around me start grinning.

  6. MsHellion says:

    *ROTFLMAO* Nice of you not to single them out by name.

    I have ordered a PJ online before. And they do want a LOT of info, but I managed it without too much headache. I did order it and then didn’t pick it up for an hour, which freaked them out. I was all, “I’m sorry, I’m with the SLOWEST person on the planet.” But they kept it on a warmer, so it wasn’t like it was cold pizza.

  7. I order nothing but books and Christmas gift certificates online, and so far, those work. I always have Stouffer’s French Bread pizza in the freezer, too. 🙂

  8. Marnee Jo says:

    I actually hate the big pizza chains (PH, PJ, D, etc). DH and I always go to the local people around here. Hey, we’re in NJ, there’s all kinds of absolutely awesome Italian restaurants nearby. It would be a waste to use the chains.

    So, when they’re local they seem to be a little more conscientious.

    And I avoid online order frustration.

    Though, I’ve heard I can order groceries online now. Wonder how bad that’d get screwed up, ya know? At least I could blame someone else for forgetting the milk.

  9. irisheyes says:

    I’ve never ordered food online but we (or should I say the DH) had a run-in with an automated phone line Friday.

    Our washer broke and he was trying to get a repairman in to fix it. I was in the kitchen when I heard him screaming, literally screaming, “Yes, Yes, Yes” into the phone. Then came the expletives at which point I decided to try to intercede and see if there was anything I could do. Silly me! He was actually screaming and swearing at a machine. I guess they kept mistaking his pronunciation of “washing machine” for “computer monitor”.

    He was finally able to “0” out and get a live person who was, thankfully, not 16 years old and spoke coherently (another one of his pet peeves – people in customer service positions whom you can’t understand!)

    And just like your daughter, Terri, I just kind of eased myself out of the way and eventually out of the house.

  10. MistyJo says:

    I never tries online ordering for food. Like Maggie, I’ve used it for books and clothing, no food as of yet.

    My biggest pet peeve with ordering food is the intercom at some fast food places. Sometimes, the voice sounds like garbled static.

    Terri, you’re a better chef than I am. I’ve never made pizza.

    The Wal-Mart in my area has begun selling freshly made pizzas in the deli section. I buy one a week, and whatever the night of that particular week that I don’t feel like really cooking, I pop that pizza into the oven. Hannah complains, but heck, Hannah complains about everything. Bill and Colin are happy. Two against one wins. 😉

  11. terrio says:

    Sorry all. Been visiting family out of town and my dang sister DOES NOT have internet. Nor does she own a computer but that’s besides the point. Dang it.

    Steph – if I didn’t love my laptop so much, it would have been out the window.

    Janga – I need to become a regular somewhere. And I hated those self-check out things in the grocery stores but after dealing with slowpoke checkers, I’ve bitten the bullet and just do it myself. Though it’s still very frustrating sometimes and I talk back to them most everytime.

  12. terrio says:

    Hellion – I’m so glad you didn’t slip up and say you’ve ordered a BJ online. LOL! What? I’m tired adn slap happy. So what?

    Maggie – I’m adding Stauffers to my grocery list.

    Marnee – there aren’t many mom&pop pizza places near me. But I’m going to hunt in this new phone book I just got and see if there’s one I’ve missed.

  13. terrio says:

    MistyJo – I simply took a ready made pizza crust out of the fridge, covered it with EVOO, sauce and cheese, then cooked for 10 minutes. I promise, no chef skills required. *g*

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