Do I have a sign on my forehead?

on July 16, 2007

I’d swear I do. And that sign reads, “Talk to me and I will talk back.” Yes, this is a very lame sign and not very creative but it’s early on a Monday so what do you expect. I have had other signs on my forehead in the past. There was, “If you are a manipulating momma’s boy feel free to marry me” and who could forget, “Give me all the work you can possibly pile on but don’t worry about paying me anything for my efforts.” Ah, good times.

But I figured out the new sign this weekend when I flew back to Arkansas to visit my daughter on her 8th birthday. The ex and his family were complete assholes to me but that’s another blog. Getting to Arkansas required two flights with a long layover in Charlotte. On the first flight I ended up in the middle seat between a couple of talkative women. I was all set to read. Even had the reading material on my lap and was looking directly at it. You would think this is the universal body language for “I’m reading” but apparently not.

We ended up talking for most of the trip. I know the girl on my right was traveling to Miami, had been bounced from a previous flight and is a fan of that Age something or other reality show with the tennis player picking between the bimbos and the cougars. I know the woman on my left worked for the airline, was going home to visit her mother in Charlotte and I don’t know for sure but I’m thinking she might play for her own team if you get my drift. But eventually airline lady pulled out her iPod and Miami girl took out her own book and I could go back to my pages. But instead I fell asleep. I’m pretty sure I caught myself with my mouth wide open at least three times. I seriously hope I didn’t snore.

After a 3 hour layover I boarded the plane that would take me into Little Rock. On this plane (a much smaller one) I was seated next to this nice lady whom I figured would just look out the window or nap. Nope. We talked the entire way. This woman now knows more about my life than most of my co-workers. And I know her name, her age, the age of her children, she’s divorced, why she’s divorced, that she’s also a widow, has a friend who wants to be more and what she does for a living. I learned all of this in less than two hours. I swear I was put on this earth to talk.

You can imagine my relief when I then, two days later, boarded the plane to leave Little Rock and found myself seated next to a man. Men don’t talk, right? Uh…wrong. Southern men talk up a storm. And this one started right away – even though I was once again reading. At one point he even asked me what I was reading. I learned this man’s wife’s name, that she recently changed jobs, that his 16 month old daughter is precious but knows how to work her mother. I also learned he works as an insurance adjuster, was traveling to South Carolina on business, where he grew up and where he lives now.

When did people change this much? I have flown many times in the past but never carried on conversations with any of my fellow passengers. Until this weekend. Then I couldn’t get away from them. On the last flight the girl next to me was nice enough to only bother me twice. She asked for the time and then asked if she was snoring. She wasn’t by the way.

So now I’m home and back at work where I pretty much spend all day by my self. Ah, good times.

How about you? What would you do if the person next to you just started talking? Are you like me and can talk to anyone? For hours? Or would you actually explain that you would prefer to be left alone to read? Or sleep? Or snore even? What sign do you have on your forehead?