A Happy Period My Ass

on March 27, 2008

This may just be the strangest blog I ever write (fingers crossed) but I’m writing it anyway. Here’s the topic – the most dreaded three letters in the English language – P M S. That’s right, I’m blogging about THAT time of the month. Well, less THAT time than THOSE symptoms. I’m either brave or stupid and I’ve been called both so lets leave it at a draw.

I have never had cramps in my life. *ducks various flying objects* Blame my mother, she hasn’t either. Now my sister, totally different story. Terrible cramps. I tell her it’s the meanness in her. And I’m totally right. Trust me, if you met her, you’d agree.

So, back to the topic. I never really had any of the traditional telltale signs that Aunt Flo was making her approach. And since I never paid much attention, it was no big deal. But now I’m old…err….more mature. Yeah, I recognize the signs now.

Take Wednesday for instance. I woke up so angry, I could have decorated various rooms in my house with fist sized holes in the walls. I’d have pummeled them I tell ya. In fact, in the morning I pulled out my iPod at work and played the angriest music I had. Grant it, I don’t have any Pantera or Megadeth on there, but Seether, Breaking Benjamin and Nickelback did in a pinch. Singing along with Breaking Benjamin on a chorus that says, “F*ck you, F*ck me!” made me feel a bit better.

By mid day, I’d moved onto some soothing country/southern rock Tim McGraw. By mid-afternoon, I was dancing around my office to Future/Sex/Love/Sounds by Justin. Love that one. Then, by 7 pm, I was crying. I was convinced I had not a friend in the world. I was alone, floating on this little dingy in the middle of the ocean, not an oar in sight. You may be figuring this all out by now.

Throw together intense anger, a dash of southern relaxation, a helping of raging hormones and a heaping cup of drama and you have my PMS. Still no cramps, but I think turning into every character Bette Davis ever played on screen in a less than 24 hour period is enough suffering. For me and all the poor souls around me.

Now, you knew I was going to ask. Not that you have to answer. We’ll see who the brave souls are today. Got any symptoms of your own? Ever strangled a squirrel because it crossed your path on the wrong week? Ever cried because you cooked the ramon noodles three minutes too long? *raises hand* Ever wanted to kill your husband because he did something totally stupid and when you got mad just assumed you were PMSing? Gah! That used to piss me off…..

PS: I have been given the Excellence Blog award by the Romance Vagabonds and I am truly honored. I now have to pass it on. I promise, I’ll get to that ASAP! Just give me a couple of days. *g*