Where Did I Put That Freak Flag?

on June 6, 2008

Don’t get too excited, this isn’t THAT kind of blog. A girls got to have some secrets. You want to know those, buy me dinner. This is a blog about finding that thing that makes you different. That something special that makes you stand out from the rest.

When I was young, my biggest fear was being normal. When I wasn’t the butt of jokes, I was totally invisible. The result of being a poor chubby girl in a school filled with well-off, beautiful kids. By high school, I was less invisible but only because I stuck out like a sore thumb. A safety pin in your ear, holes in your jeans, and skulls on your black t-shirts (worn on dress down days of course) were not the norm in a Catholic school in the 80s. At least not my Catholic school.

Maybe that’s why I ended up at an art college. The only thing I loved more than books was music. And since I can’t sing, dance, or play a musical instrument, working with music meant working behind the scenes. This was fine with me since I’ve always had a head for business. Mix music and business and you end up with a Music/Video Business degree from The Art Institute of Pittsburgh.

So I went from a high school where most everyone looked exactly the same and I stood out for being odd, to a college where a fellow student wore a kilt and a giant, multi-colored mohawk to our graduation ceremony. Now I stood out for not being odd enough. I couldn’t win.

Many years have gone by, and I know I should be more mature, happy just being me. I shouldn’t care anything about being different. But I do. I still hate the thought of being normal. And I’m still searching for that thing that makes me different. Only today I realized, that’s it. That’s what makes me stand out from the rest. My longing to be extraordinary.

I can live with that.

What about you? What makes you different? Here’s your chance to fly your freak flag. You know you wanna.