Dude, This Is So Weird

on January 23, 2010

I live a pretty ordinary life. No wild side, no looney friends, no extra toes. So when I come across something really weird, I’m often amazed. I probably shouldn’t be, but I am. It would be accurate to say, Didn’t-See-That-Coming is my middle name. But recently, random weirdness has been crossing my path.

Case in point, Kiddo and I are strolling through the mall. Passing by Spencer’s, I notice a Playboy Snuggie in the window. First I have to say, I hate Snuggies. I think they’re the dumbest thing ever and if you have one I’m sorry, but come on. Buy a sweater. Or a robe. Unless you’re a monk, or Obie Wan Kenobi, you should not be wearing a Snuggie.

Anyway, seeing this product led to the following conversation.

Me: Can you believe they have a Playboy Snuggie?
Her: That’s weird.
*brief pause*
Me: That’s ironic since-
Her: They take their clothes off in Playboy.
*quick ponder of how she knows this fact*
Me: Instead of arm holes, they should have two big holes in the front.
*insert universal hand gesture for big gazongas*
Her: I know, right?

Have I mentioned my daughter is ten?

If this wasn’t weird enough, later that same night, I was going through the little guide thingy on my television and I see a show called MANswers. It’s on Spike so it’s pretty obvious this is not everything you ever wanted to know about manatees. In addition to MANswers being the worst title ever, the little info thing shows the topics being covered on this episode. And I quote, “The monetary value of sperm.”

I could not make this up.

Are men really dying to know this information? Is this a popular way to supplement their incomes? Do they not realize sperm can be acquired with very little effort and no money? Women can get it anytime we want. There are several episodes playing back to back so I investigate what other life-altering tips are here for the taking. Found this jewel > “Different ways to smoke pot.”

What is the weirdest thing you’ve seen lately?