missing Isabelle

Alone Sucks

on June 22, 2008

As much as I’m an extrovert and love to be around people, I also tend to be a loner. Between being a control freak uncomfortable asking anyone for help, even when I really need it, and being reluctant to relive hurts of the past, I pretty much keep to myself. I’m a single mom, but I’ve been a single mom almost since the moment of conception so I don’t know parenting any other way. Oh, I was married when she was born, but I was still a single parent.

My daughter spends her summers with her father which just happens to put her over a thousand miles away from me. This puts me in an odd situation. I’m a mother without a child. Talk about something missing. It’s like that feeling you have on those days where you know you forgot something but you can’t put your finger on what that something might be. Very frustrating.

In the past I’ve managed to fill my child-free time with second jobs or casual dating or just generally staying busy. That’s not the case this time around. Don’t get me wrong, I have a ton of stuff to do around the house. But as I’m a procrastinator and she won’t be back for nine more weeks, I have about seven or eight more weeks to go before I tackle my list.

Here’s my question. How do you stay busy? Where I usually wish someone would add hours to my day, this week it’s the opposite. I have too many hours and not enough to do. So give me some ideas. And I know I should be taking advantage of all this writing time. I am, partly. But I have to break things up so give me some more ideas. And anyone want to come stay at the beach for a while? I have an empty room. *g*