Look Out, Minor Vent Ahead

It’s time to come clean. I’ve been kind of having a rough time lately. Not the kind of rough that a lot of other people are having. No sub-zero temps or unemployment offices. Nothing end of the world.

It’s just that I had my heart broken recently. It was pretty bad. And as always, it was so obvious in hindsight. I mean, blatantly obvious. Like smack me upside the head and dunk my ass in ketchup obvious.

One of the most annoying things, and trust me when I say there are a TON of annoying things about this situation, is that I’m not supposed to be dealing with puppy love, and games and broken hearts when I’m pushing 40. Seriously, none of these things sound like grown up stuff to me. And I’m a Capricorn, we’re all about being grown up.

I feel silly crying or whining or name calling. Okay, the name calling is kind of fun. And therapeutic. But the rest is for kids. For adolescents with raging hormones. For sorority girls whose greatest worry is getting pinned. I’m a grown up, gosh darn it!

Anyway, I was flipping channels tonight and came across one of my favorite movies of the last couple years – Juno. I know some people didn’t like this one, but I love it. And there’s a line in it that actually made me feel better. It’s delivered by Juno’s dad, Mac.

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with.

For that line alone I’d like to shake Diablo Cody’s hand. Isn’t that just the perfect line? And so simple. It makes it all sound so damn simple. Why can’t it really be that simple? Don’t worry, that’s not the question of the day. I don’t really expect anyone to answer that one.

The point of this is not to get a dozen people to tell me I’ll be okay and I’ll find someone better and all that load of malarkey. Really, don’t encourage my pity-party. The point is, well, I’m not sure what the point is. I guess that I’ll live. And life will go on and maybe someday I’ll find someone who thinks the sun shines out my ass.

But for now, I want to know this. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you looked around and had no idea how you got there? Have you ever experienced anything as an (alleged) adult that you thought you left behind with the pimples and the braces? And would someone tell me when is the first day of spring, because I really need some good news right now.

24 thoughts on “Look Out, Minor Vent Ahead”

  1. Honey, a friend of mine told me that no matter how old you are, life is still exactly like high school. I didn’t want to believe it, but I think there’s a huge dollop of truth to it. The pettiness,the promise, the politics, the prom—it’s all just morphed into something with more sags and wrinkles, but the same. And boy/girl stuff is just as tricky, even if you’ve been married forever. Everyone has acceptance issues. I think once you recognize that, some of the sting goes away.

    Sending a band-aid and a bottle of rum your way. XXOO.

  2. Oh, and by the way. Post-menopausal (went thru the change around forty). Pimples. Does that sound right? Didn’t think so.

  3. terrio says:

    Maggie – Even thinking about HS makes me want to hide under the bed. Ugh! I know it’s true, but my logical side fights it.

    I waited all through my 20s and early 30s for the pimples to go away. Finally broke down and bought Proactiv. Works like a dream and now I can’t imagine living without it.

  4. Stephanie J says:

    Like Maggie said, I think the high school thing lasts but I don’t think it should get such a bad rap. Yes, high school sucks but a lot of that is because we were all experiencing emotions and situations for the first time so they become a bigger deal. Still, love, betrayal, cliques, pettiness, politics, etc. are normal and we’ll never get away from them!! I think high school is just a magnified version of what life is really like.

    But, uh, yah, glad to leave behind the pimples and braces(at least for now…who knows what future curses my skin holds for me)!

  5. Quantum says:

    Afraid I’m not much help with this.

    I can’t even remember the official first day of spring.

    Crocuses are popping up in my garden right now, which is Nature’s way of flagging the imminent arrival of spring. Even nature is confused by climate change!

    Betrayal and rejection always hurts like hell. You can theorise and rationalise till the cows come home but it still hurts!

    If I could get the blighter in my lab I’d freeze dry his privates.

    Oh dear, I’m forgetting that I believe in non-violent solutions.

    OK I’d force him to take that course in ethics that’s boring all the students silly, and make him repeat it until he passes my examination.

    Yes that might teach him to treat a lady properly. Eternal ethical boredom!

    Terri luv, you radiate sunshine all over the internet and some guy other than me will eventually see it.

    Sending Multiple Hugs and a huge OXO cube to cheer you up. *smile*

  6. Janga says:

    (((Hugs))), sweetie! Since I don’t have any words of wisdom to offer, I’m stealin’ some.

    Broken bottles, broken plates, broken switches, broken gates
    Broken dishes, broken parts, streets are filled with broken hearts.
    Broken words never meant to be spoken,
    Everything is broken.

    Seems like every time you stop and turn around,
    Someone else has just hit the ground.

    –Bob Dylan

    Adults are obsolete children. ~Dr. Seuss

    “Sisters, don’t you see what will snatch you up–
    the expected, the handsome, the one who needs us?”
    –Rita Dove

    May be the queen of broken hearts,
    But I don’t hide behind the crown.
    When the deck is stacked against me,
    I just play a different game.
    My roots are planted in the past,
    And though my life is changin’ fast,
    Who I am is who I wanna be.

    A single mom who works two jobs,
    Who loves her kid and never stops,
    With gentle hands and the heart of a fighter,
    I’m a survivor.

  7. terrio says:

    Steph – Could you not lie? Seriously. LOL! I don’t wanna relive HS forever! Whaaa…lol. J/K You’re right, of course. But it still sucks. And I think it all depends on how your original HS experience went down. Some were better than other, ya know?

    Q – I prefer things I can rationalize. I realize that sounds odd coming from my anti-scientific brain, but it’s true. And I’m pretty sure freeze drying does not qualify as violence. Feel free to do that. 🙂 Thanks for the sweet words. MWAH!

  8. terrio says:

    Have I told you lately how much I love you, Janga? Thanks so much. I only recognize the last one, but I love all of them. As I told a friend the other day, I’ve survived worse than this. And it gets better everyday. I actually dodged a bullet in this one, so in the end, it’s a good thing.

    Here’s to all of us survivors!

  9. Janga says:

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  10. Janga says:

    I forgot to say that spring is only 50 days away. But since you are blessed to live in a region where she will show her face before the calendar gives her official permission, it won’t really be that long. I always count the first daffodil, which should make its appearance in another three weeks or so, as the first note in spring’s chorus. I bought some pink tulips yesterday just to get my eyes and my spirit prepared. 🙂

  11. terrio says:

    Janga – I know if I can make it through Feb, the worst is over. At least here in my area. And the sun is out today, so that helps.

    I bought some tulips the other day to cheer myself up. All red with one pink one. They look very pretty on the dining room table. Maybe this year I’ll attempt to plant something outside my front door. Something pretty to greet me when I come home.

  12. Quantum says:

    Consider it done Terri.

    If you see him again I wouldn’t ask if he’s missing anything.

    He might also look a bit green *wink*

    Glad your feeling a bit better now.

    Isn’t Janga brilliant in these situations. I wish I could quote relevant Bob Dylan like that!

  13. Beth says:

    Hey Terri, I was smacked in the face by high school drama a few weeks ago. Face Book does have its drawbacks. I just couldn’t believe I was even thinking about this @#$%$ again. I mean that was over 20 years ago, don’t you people have a life now? Funny thing though, I looked over at my husband and thought THANK GOD! He is sooo not about drama or games or acting like he’s 17. One good thing about Face Book is that you can set your privacy settings so high that you can remove yourself from the drama.

    The good guys are out there, I even know more than one – keep the faith and my only advice to you is DO NOT let yourself get drawn into any juvenille dramas. You got so much going for you especially that little darling whose pictures you just posted.

    It still stinks, but take the kid for a drive in that shiny new car and I guarantee you’ll feel better.

  14. terrio says:

    Q – I know we said no to violence, but today I was told this is all my fault. He’s completely blameless. Could we make this more painful?

    Beth – I don’t have any contact with anyone from my HS so no worries in that department. Though the other night a guy who was the much older brother of one of my best friends found me and friended (odd that that’s a verb now) me on Facebook. I have no idea how he knew it was me since my last name is different. Maybe he just recognized the school name. Who knows.

    Thanks for the sweet words about kiddo. I forgot to tell her I posted those. LOL! She’ll be so excited.

  15. MsHellion says:

    *snortal* I have to laugh with Maggie. Life is high school, just with wrinkles. Ugh.

    And I absolutely LOVE that line from JUNO. *LOL* That movie just makes me sad; it’s just a bittersweet sort of movie, and I like my movies generally happier. But I do love that line. *LOL*

  16. Quantum says:

    Gads My Lady, The fellow is a cad!!!
    Certainly no English Gentleman!

    As your champion I shall insist on pistols at dawn.

  17. terrio says:

    Hellie – I really like that movie mostly because I love the Juno character. And who you calling wrinkled? LOL!

    Q – My hero!

  18. MsHellion says:

    I adore Q!

    And I’m calling myself wrinkled. The Colleys do not age well. It looks fine on the men–distinguished even, but on the women, we look like those Pekinese dogs.

  19. MsHellion says:

    Oops, I mean, we look like SHAR-PEI’s, not Pekinese. (We’re not that perky looking.)

  20. terrio says:

    I’m finding that’s the good thing about having greasy skin and being pudgy. Less wrinkles. There’s a silver lining for you.

    And you totally threw me off with the dog breed there. LOL!

  21. irisheyes says:

    Aww, Ter, I’m sorry I missed all this – I’ve been running all week! Sending {hugs}!

    I have no words of wisdom either – go back and re-read Janga’s! LOL

    I do believe there are adult men out there who want to be in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman (you!). I just don’t know how you go about finding them. I’m sorry you have to deal with HS issues all over again – I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy!

    I haven’t seen Juno yet but LOVE that line.

    As for spring I am REALLY feeling your pain, there! I feel like I’ll never be warm again.

  22. terrio says:

    Don’t worry, Irish, you didn’t miss much. I’m feeling better everyday. This dude needs to re-write history to help himself sleep at night, so be it. But we both know what the truth is. And from what I just learned over the weekend, karma is smacking him in the ass right quick (as my kiddo would say). Gotta love karma. LOL!

  23. Marnee Jo says:

    Ter – I’m also sorry you had to go through all this. I agree with Maggie and Fran though; life is just high school with more wrinkles.

    Hang in there. If you already are feeling like you dodged a bullet, then whatever has happened has happened for the best.

  24. I still secretly wish you would’ve sent that piss-off-putz-face letter we talked about.

    I suppose one of us had to be the grown up, which leads me to share the following pearl:

    Terri, every time you feel you’re reacting like teenager … compare yourself to me.

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