Dude, This Is So Weird

I live a pretty ordinary life. No wild side, no looney friends, no extra toes. So when I come across something really weird, I’m often amazed. I probably shouldn’t be, but I am. It would be accurate to say, Didn’t-See-That-Coming is my middle name. But recently, random weirdness has been crossing my path.

Case in point, Kiddo and I are strolling through the mall. Passing by Spencer’s, I notice a Playboy Snuggie in the window. First I have to say, I hate Snuggies. I think they’re the dumbest thing ever and if you have one I’m sorry, but come on. Buy a sweater. Or a robe. Unless you’re a monk, or Obie Wan Kenobi, you should not be wearing a Snuggie.

Anyway, seeing this product led to the following conversation.

Me: Can you believe they have a Playboy Snuggie?
Her: That’s weird.
*brief pause*
Me: That’s ironic since-
Her: They take their clothes off in Playboy.
*quick ponder of how she knows this fact*
Me: Instead of arm holes, they should have two big holes in the front.
*insert universal hand gesture for big gazongas*
Her: I know, right?

Have I mentioned my daughter is ten?

If this wasn’t weird enough, later that same night, I was going through the little guide thingy on my television and I see a show called MANswers. It’s on Spike so it’s pretty obvious this is not everything you ever wanted to know about manatees. In addition to MANswers being the worst title ever, the little info thing shows the topics being covered on this episode. And I quote, “The monetary value of sperm.”

I could not make this up.

Are men really dying to know this information? Is this a popular way to supplement their incomes? Do they not realize sperm can be acquired with very little effort and no money? Women can get it anytime we want. There are several episodes playing back to back so I investigate what other life-altering tips are here for the taking. Found this jewel > “Different ways to smoke pot.”

What is the weirdest thing you’ve seen lately?

9 thoughts on “Dude, This Is So Weird”

  1. Beth says:

    I work with the public Terri, I see weird everyday. We recently had a couple come in. She had a dog collar on and he was leading her around on a chain. GET A ROOM

  2. When I think of weirdness I get that image in my head of that commerical with the girl on a bicycle with her arm pit hair blowing in the wind. *LOL*

    I haven’t noticed too much weirdness lately, but that’s not to say it’s not happening! It’s come back to bite me. Just this last week, my son (now eight)handed me his homework to sign off on (sliding it under my own homework) and I actually looked at it and noticed a few “off” things. He seemed to have someone else’s homework – different name and different handwriting. His explanation:

    He’s decided to write “Bob” as his name on all homework. (Michael is too long.) As for the different handwriting, in a weird way, this makes sense since he also managed to get a friend to do his homework.

    Geez! The things that happen when you’re not paying attention. Then, somehow my lecture on the wrongness of this turned to my own homework and that I had a quiz coming up. Multiple choice. He offered the advice “always choose A for Excellent.” That did throw me into speechlessness. Huh? I even had to wonder for a second, because he said it with such cofidence, if “excellent” started with A. Which angle of wrong do start with? See a disturbing trend with his logic? *LOL*

  3. TerriOsburn says:

    Beth – In a library? Really?! That beats anything I’ve seen lately. LOL!

    Melissa – When that child aims his genius in the right direction, you are in so much trouble. LOL! The Bob part is cracking me up. Did you ask why he didn’t go with Joe or Jim?

    My kiddo just skips thing on her papers or gets to many wrong, you can see she wasn’t even paying attention. Her answer to why this happens is a shrugg. Gah!

  4. Stephanie J says:

    I just busted out laughing in the middle of B&N. Hilarious about the snuggies. I can’t think of anything weird that I’ve seen as of late. Tho one of my favorite weird moments was in college. I was driving down the street and saw a girl jogging down the sidewalk with a small dog on a leash. Then I got closer and realized it wasn’t a dog, but a monkey. On a leash. Jogging with the girl. Yah, weird and totally made my day!

  5. Quantum says:

    Glad your back up and blogging Terri.

    That couple in the library is weird. California I assume. It would never happen in England … there is probably a law about leaving dogs outside!

    As you know,I live in the quantum world where everything is weird.

    Thinking of people though, I passed an old colleague recently and didn’t recognise him. He shouted out to me “Hello ‘Q'” and I just stared, bewildered, before stammering “Do I know you?”.

    “Course you do, its ‘J'” he replied. Then I twigged. “Goodness you’ve lost some weight” I said, trying desperately to avoid saying anything inappropriate. “Yeah, I get my hormone injections next week” he went on.

    Have you ever met someone you used to know who’s had a sex change? …. Thats really weird!

    On a lighter note I am fond of stroking the souls of MrsQs feet with the top of my own. ….erogenous zones or something. But one night my feet stroked wool. I assumed that she must be wearing a pair of my socks, it being freezing outside.

    In the morning though, I found a pair of ankle high boots, knitted in rainbow colours, on my side of the bed.

    Now is that kinky or not? *grin*

  6. TerriOsburn says:

    Okay, Steph, that might one up the library couple. I’m trying to picture a monkey jogging, but I can’t. LOL!

    Q – The library incident would be in West Virginia, though the tiny sliver part. That sort of thing could happen anywhere. And I’m betting it could, and probably has, happened in London. 🙂

    I have never run into anyone I once knew who went from she to he or vice versa. Though the “lost weight” response sounds perfect for the situation. I don’t even want to ponder the rainbow boots.

  7. Beth says:

    Actually it was in Maryland, but I can imagine it could happen anywhere. Don’t you miss the days when people kept their fetishes behind closed doors LOL!

  8. Janga says:

    No loony friends? Really? Are you sure, Ter? 🙂

    I think weirdness has spead so that it’s approaching the new normal. I think it’s weird for a group of people to go out together for dinner and all of them sit there with cell phones attached to their ears talking to other people. I think it’s weird to throw things at the TV screen in your living room because you don’t like a referee’s call. I think it’s weird that they keep changing the Geico gecko’s voice and weirder still that some people care passionately that they do.

    If you want to see ROTFLMAO weird, go to http://www.weirduniverse.net/ and watch the Japanese(?) report on the late-night TV show fiasco.

  9. TerriOsburn says:

    That is hysterical! And you don’t have to understand a word to know they got it exactly right. LOL!

    You do have a point about the looney friends. I do hang with pirates all day. And I’ve done that dinner with cell phones thing. WTF is up with that? I went to lunch with six or seven people after church once and looked up to see ALL OF THEM on cell phones. No one was talking to anyone actually at the table. I was the only one without a cell. Except the baby to my right. LOL!

    Thankfully, I’ve purged all of those idiots out of my life. Gah! (And I don’t throw stuff at the TV, but I have been known to voice my disagreement. Loudly. *g*)

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