Alone Sucks

As much as I’m an extrovert and love to be around people, I also tend to be a loner. Between being a control freak uncomfortable asking anyone for help, even when I really need it, and being reluctant to relive hurts of the past, I pretty much keep to myself. I’m a single mom, but I’ve been a single mom almost since the moment of conception so I don’t know parenting any other way. Oh, I was married when she was born, but I was still a single parent.

My daughter spends her summers with her father which just happens to put her over a thousand miles away from me. This puts me in an odd situation. I’m a mother without a child. Talk about something missing. It’s like that feeling you have on those days where you know you forgot something but you can’t put your finger on what that something might be. Very frustrating.

In the past I’ve managed to fill my child-free time with second jobs or casual dating or just generally staying busy. That’s not the case this time around. Don’t get me wrong, I have a ton of stuff to do around the house. But as I’m a procrastinator and she won’t be back for nine more weeks, I have about seven or eight more weeks to go before I tackle my list.

Here’s my question. How do you stay busy? Where I usually wish someone would add hours to my day, this week it’s the opposite. I have too many hours and not enough to do. So give me some ideas. And I know I should be taking advantage of all this writing time. I am, partly. But I have to break things up so give me some more ideas. And anyone want to come stay at the beach for a while? I have an empty room. *g*

18 thoughts on “Alone Sucks”

  1. Quantum says:

    Terri, I can see that ‘losing’ your child for a period must feel like having a limb amputated.

    If you didn’t hate science so much, I would suggest learning a little more about the cosmos or the workings of the brain and mind, to see more clearly your role in the creator’s plan.

    Your love of music though, suggests to me that a little artistic therapy might be in order. Can you dance? Can you Cha Cha Cha? How about dancing lessons to express your inner soul and get fit at the same time?

    Also, it could be a great time to learn to paint. You must have some great sunsets living by the beach. You could treat us all to a vision of the universe from your side of the pond.

    The great thing is to branch out and try something that your daughter would never anticipate. Who knows what surprises could then be waiting for you!

  2. terrio says:

    Q – I’m happy to say that one of the reasons I’ve run out of things to do is because as of last night, I am officially done with my Science class. Whew! I survived!

    And I love to dance. I’ve wanted to take ballroom lessons for years, but never had. I’m not sure my knees could stand it or if they give lessons to someone without a partner, but there’s a place not far from me that advertises them. I might have to give them a call.

    As for painting, I have no artistic ability in that area. I don’t even doodle. But, I could take some pictures. I’ll try that and post some if they come out halfway decent.

    Thanks for the ideas. And yes, it is like having a part of yourself removed. I keep looking around thinking she’s going to walk down the hall any minute.

  3. Marnee Jo says:

    Ok, I’m going to maybe sound lame here, but when I’ve got some down time, I crochet or do embroidery/cross stitch. Something crafty like that. It keeps my hands moving and gives me a different kind of artistic outlet. And, I’ve found if I need to work through scenes, getting my hands moving seems to do wonders.

    As for Isabelle, I can’t imagine being without my little piece of insanity so my heart goes out to you. Have you thought about redecorating? WHat about a cooking class? Or piano lessons?

  4. MistyJo says:

    Oh Terri, I know what you mean. When Hannah would visit her dad, a piece of me was missing, and I worried constantly. Does Isabelle have a cell phone? The last time Hannah was with her dad, a couple of years ago, she had a cell phone with her, and that made it easier.

    As for a project, I suggest a summer fling. *g*

  5. terrio says:

    Marnee – I did cross stitch stuff many years ago, but I get bored too easily. And I have fat fingers which makes it more frustrating. Add already going blind and that one is out. LOL!

    A cooking class would be fun and goodness knows I need one. But I don’t know anywhere near me that has something casual like that. I shall google today and see what I find!

    Thanks for the ideas!

  6. terrio says:

    Mistyjo – no cell phone. Though she’d love to have one. But she’s only 8 and terrible about losing things. She’s already lost the Nintendo DS I bought her for Christmas. Grrrrr…..

    I thought this would get easier as she got older because I wouldn’t have to worry so much. Well, now I don’t worry so much but the missing her gets worse. *g*

    And, uh, I don’t think that other is an option. But thanks for the positive thinking. LOL!

  7. MsHellion says:

    The cooking thing is a good idea. You might meet a guy there who you can have a casual fling with. Two birds, one stone.

    Be warned you’ll be cooking with weird things like: spices, vegetables…potatoes.

    Is there a cooking class for ramen noodles?

    Other ways you can fill your time: um, you can write your BOOK. Or, I don’t know, FINISH your book. Or a possible third option, COMPLETE YOUR NOVEL. I know these sounds nuts, but you might consider it. Now that you don’t have to listen to one little voice, you can focus on the multiple voices in your head, begging for some attention.

  8. terrio says:

    Hellion – did you not SEE the disclaimer at the end? I know I should be doing writing. And I will. Heck, I wrote all weekend except it was on three other things. But that’s good for me. I need to get into the routine of writing everyday and I am. Now I just have to focus. LOL!

    That’s not easy for me.

    And there is a place you learn to cook with ramon noodles but it’s prison and I’m not willing to go in there to learn. What can I say, my brother dated an ex-con once and he told me that’s what they cooked in there. Thankfully he didn’t tell me anything about salads. 😉

  9. Diana says:


    Can I come by and visit? I miss the beach and the sand.

    I think you should write. Or read. Reading is fun. Or volunteer. Maybe a local college with a radio needs a DJ?

  10. terrio says:

    Di – you know my door is always open for you, my dear. Just say the word.

    And I kind of like that volunteer idea. I’ve been thinking about that for a long time. I do believe I’ll research that today.

    And I totally forgot to come clean and admit I stole the title of the blog from the book I’m reading right now. It’s Weddings Can Be Murder by Christie Craig and I’m loving it. Very fast paced and you get the story from the POV of five different characters. FIVE! I’m in heaven. LOL!

  11. I don’t really have a great answer here. I’m not really a party person and, outside of school, I just don’t get out that much. So if I’m bored I, typically, pick up a book. Though, sometimes I do just ring up my best friend and force her to go out with me somewhere(you know, like to a book

  12. terrio says:

    Whoa, Kelly, you need to slow down there. When I was your age, I was out drinking at least four or five nights a week. I’m not suggesting you should do that and now I couldn’t go out drinking five nights a year, but let’s just say I was never bored. LOL!

    I looked up some volunteer opps with the hospital closest to my house and I’ve sent off an email. Hopefully, they’ll get back to me soon. You can volunteer in the Mother/Baby Unit so that’s what I put down. Wouldn’t it be cool to help rock the babies or something. Oh, I’m really looking forward to this now.

    Di – I owe you one!

  13. Diana says:

    Terri- That sounds fantastic! I think I need to start volunteering around here more often.

  14. irisheyes says:

    Hey, Ter, you changed your main page!!! I like it.

    Sorry about Isabelle! 🙁 I’m ready to toss my two out on a daily basis, but would be loss without them.

    I’m absolutely no help with suggestions. When I’m bored I read or eat. My life is so crazy these days that I don’t get a chance to get bored very often. The volunteer thing sounds really cool, though. I would do that… it gives you something to do and you can feel good about yourself at the same time. It’s a win/win. Who knows you might meet a McDreamy!

  15. Aww. My guys have all grown up and I still miss them. I find myself in the grocery store looking for the kid who called ‘mommy.’ NOT that I’d want to go back in time, LOL, because it’s MY time now. I would be reading, writing, watching YouTube endlessly…wait a minute, that’s what I DO do. You have SF to look forward to, too. Try to enjoy and indulge yourself totally.

  16. terrio says:

    Irish – I too eat when I’m bored. Which is why I should never be bored. Although by the looks of me, you’d think I was bored 24/7. LOL!

    Maggie – This week has picked back up with having to get ready for this writer’s retreat this weekend. Then school starts next week and I’m still looking into the volunteer thing. But I haven’t tried that YouTube thing yet. LOL! Actually, last night I was sort of making a video that might work over there. It was of our Hottie pirate crew members and I have to say the boys were wonderful about all the…positions I put them in. LOL!

  17. J.K. Coi says:

    Terri, I hope you enjoy your time, even though missing your daughter can get pretty awful. I know how it feels, although not to that extent. Every so often my husband and son take off on a camping or fishing weekend, mainly to give me time to write. Which is great, but I miss them terribly even though they’re only gone for three days.

  18. terrio says:

    J.K. – the first week is always the hardest and that’s when I wrote this. I had a writer’s retreat over the weekend, my new classes start this week, I have to give a character workshop in two weeks and Nationals is two weeks after that.

    In other words, that boredom thing is no longer an issue. LOL! But I’m still going to do the volunteer thing.

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